Family and Bella

So this is kind of a weird type of post it is just just random pictures and so thoughts that I feel about them.
This is one of my favorite pictures of Bella and Jerry. I could not ask for a better Daddy for my daughter. And she loves him so much. In fact sometimes I think she loves him more than me but I am sure that all Mamma's feel that way at one point.

So don't we look like the cheese couple. But I think that Jerry looks great in his uniform but I have always loved men in uniform.

Here is a picture of my beautiful family. Don't we look great and just so happy. Well that is because we are. So much has happened to us this year and it is just wonderful. We have a new home that we can official call ours, it does not the miltary, but ours. Plus even though Jerry is not home a whole lot he is home every night and no deployments for a few years Yes. I am doing really good with my weight loss. I thought that I would take a lot more pictures but I just haven't but I am down 58 lbs and feel and look so much better. So as you see we have a lot to be thankful for.

I took this picture on Bella's 4th Birthday we had a fun day at the park taking pictures and just playing. She is just getting so big and so pretty. It is hard to believe the she is now 4 years old and just so full of energy. She started going to child care this week and is doing great. In fact today her teacher said that she is so polite and uses her manners and that she is rubbing off on the other kids. That made me one proud Mom. Manners have always been really important to me so I am glad to know that she uses them with out having to be reminded. So way to go Bella you are growing up to fast for this momma.

Veteran's Day 2010

Well sorry that it has been so long since I have gotten on here things have been really crazy. But any way. Today was a great day. I got to spend the day with my favorite Veteran. My husband Jerry. We got up this morning and Went to the Oklahoma City Zoo because it was free for all Veterans and their families. It was great to get to spend the day with him and Bella because we just don't get very many days together with his schedule being so crazy. Needles to say we had fun at the zoo we walked almost 4 miles and had fun chasing Bella around and looking at all the animals. We are going to have to go again sometime and ride the Tram and the Train. I hope everyone is doing good. I will try to post more often

1BSTB Ball

Today was a good day. I was so excited because it was one of those days that I really got to feel pretty. First I got to go get my nails done and got my eyebrows and lip waxed. Then I got to come home and put on a ball gown and my great grandmothers jewelry and go to a Military Ball. I felt like a princess and Bella kept calling me a pretty prince and that always makes me feel good. We had a great time at the Ball after all the formality stuff we were able to dance and visit and just enjoy ourselves. What a great night. The only thing that went wrong is that Our friends went to pick up there children before Jerry and I and Bella would not let them leave she just started crying so We left early and went and picked her up. She was so sad that she made one of her teachers cry along with her.

Almost There

Okay so it is getting closer to Jerry coming home. His date to come home keeps changing and it is very frustrating because I am so ready for him to come home. A year is a long time to wait for your soldier to come home. This will be the 6th time that I have waited for him to come home and it never changes. I clean the house until I think it is perfect and then I just wait. I am trying to figure out the perfect outfit for both Bella and I. I have gotten Bella's but mine I am not so sure of yet. Then I go threw being scared and then just realize that everything is going to be okay because he is my husband and we love each other very much and nothing has changed even though we have been apart for a while. Then the waiting is horrible it seems like the closer it gets to him being home the slower time goes uggg. But I know when I see him on that field and am waiting for the speaker to shut up things are going to be right again in my world. So until them I am just waiting and counting down the days and changing the days until he is home. Only a few more days and he will be home yea.

I'm Scared

Okay so I am scared. It is about 18-22 days before my husband comes home from Iraq. This will be the 3rd time that he has come home from Iraq and this time I am more scared than ever for him to come home. This should be a time of joy and excitement and it is but it is also a time to be scared. We have not been a family in over a year and all of us have changed. Bella is now in her Terrible 3's and driving me bonkers. Jerry I know has seen stuff that I am sure has changed how he feels about things and will change how he acts about things. Me this has been the hardest deployment out of the 6 and I have changed. I don't know if I have changed for the better or the worse. I have had a mental breakdown since he has been gone and I am having serious doubts about our relationship. It is hard to have a relationship that is strictly over the phone or on the computer. So I am scared. What about if he does not love me anymore. What about if he can't handle being around a stubborn child like Bella. I have all these what ifs and there is no way to answer them until he comes home and we deal with it. You are probably asking why I am telling you all this well for one I just needed to vocalize it and to I need prayers. And most of all I need someone to tell me that it will be okay and that we will make it past all of this just like we always do. I can't even imagine what it is going to be like for Jerry to come home to a 3 year old he has only spent about 8 months with her. Please let everything be okay.

Happy New Year

Well it is Jan 1, 2010. On every New Years Day everyone does the same thing they look back and see what the previous year was like for them and then they try to make a prediction on what the New Year will hold for them. I am no different but I would like to look at the New Year in a new way. Instead of saying I will lose weight this year I am going to do things differently. For this new year. I am going to pray that my daughter will continue to grow and learn and smile everyday and make me smile, because everyone know that when a child smiles and laughs you can't keep from doing the same. I also pray that she will learn more about God and love him more and more everyday. I love it when I ask her want she wants to read and she says the bible mommy. For a 3 year old that is an amazing thing. I also pray that my husband will come home safely from Iraq and that this year we will get to become the family that we need to be. I can't wait to see Bella and Jerry together. I want to cherish every moment of it. I also pray that I will remember to stop and cherish every moment of my life with my husband daughter and family. I pray that my family will have a great year with many good moments. I pray that I can learn to love myself for the person that I am and that I will quit trying to be someone else. And last but not least, I pray that I will become closer to God and that my relationship with him will grow and that I can finally let him be in control of my life, even when I want to control it. For all of my friends and family I wish you all a happy new year with lots of love, hope, and a closer walk with God. I also pray that when the hard times come this year as I know that they will that we can all walk through them stronger and with a good out look because God is always with us and he will never give us more than we can handle. Happy New Year.

A good look

Do you know when you all of the sudden realise something and it just makes you smile. Well that is what just happened to me so I thought that I would blog about it. So I have had a ruff day today but it started to turn around so I was just laying in bed watching T.V. and Bella came in an started crawling all over me and we started to play. At that very moment watching Bella it made me realize how much I take for granted. I love to watch her laugh but I just don't pay attention to it much because life is so crazy. So then I realize that I just need to stop and just pay attention to the little things in your life. I grip and complain about having to take care of her by myself but you know what it gives me a chance to just spend a lot of time with her. I need to take more time and just enjoy it. I realized that Jerry does not get that chance and I should be thankful for what I get to do with her. I also know that when Jerry gets home that we need to spend time as a family and that I don't need to worry about anything else but Jerry, Bella, and I and of course God. I love my little family so much and can't wait until we are all together and I know that we will be soon so I am thankful for that. So that is what I realized is that I take to much for granted and I need to stop and take a look at what is right in front of me.